he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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