my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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