so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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