Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's always time for handjobs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
