even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
