Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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