I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
