No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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