and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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