If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
