You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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