So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
