She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
