i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
