I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
