I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
