All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
