You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize