I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
