Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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