Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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