yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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