We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
