Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
