I wish you could order shots online.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
