so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
