sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
