I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
