i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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