He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh god it's open bar.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
