dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize