I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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