dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
