I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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