Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
