Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
