So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He better not be in your backpack
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
