Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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