If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
