We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
