I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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