I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
