That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My life is pants optional.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
