1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
