just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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