My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
