i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
