this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
