He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
