Too much gin, very little bucket
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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