Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
