Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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