It's like God shit irony all over that family
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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