I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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