It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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