Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize