Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
