I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
