If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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